Have you lost a kid like him?
His name is:
There is always somebody who thinks that your song is about him or her, because sometimes vanity overcomes sanity. I feel that Miss Julie Andrews's song is about my parents. My mother's father was a tall, strong and very violent man who used to beat his children. Therefore, no wonder that future Mrs Jack escaped from home and married the first possible man who happened to be an aircraftman from the local air force base. However, my father wasn't any prince of the daydreams, and this "Humpty Dumpty" proved to be a short alcoholic who just neglected his family and wasted everything in boozy parties.
So, Mr Jack made women's life bitter, but because he wasn't there facing the consequences, I, as prodigal son's son, had the all pleasure to represent him. Otherwise my life has mostly been only sober and hard work, and without Mrs Blake Edwards I would be only an empty shell who doesn't simply care. I even came from the other side of the world to see her at Samuel Goldwyn Theater on last Thursday. I saw you walking behind her but you probably didn't notice me, although I sat in a same row with Mr & Mrs Blake Edwards during the screening of S.O.B. until they announced that "Elvis has left the building".
I realize that your job is not to manage Julie's social life but only to promote her career. However, you would be the right kind of moderator between me and her. Therefore, would it be possible that I would be quickly introduced to her at some convenient time and place? All I want is to shake her hand, say few words to her personally, and give a small present. I would even be willing to pay for this fleeting moment. Would $1000 be enough, or $2000 then? Julie doesn't probably need me nor my money, and meeting me from her side would simply be the act of charity. I just try to demonstrate how badly I need this short meeting.
Dear Mr Jack:
Thank you for your letter.
Regretfully, we shall not be in a position to facilitate your request. As you can imagine, we literally receive hundreds of letters each year from fans interested parties who wish to have a personal meeting with Julie. Regretfully, this is not something that can be accomplished and we are responding to you in like fashion.
Julie has brought enormous joy to people internationally of all ages and it's one of the great gifts that she gives and receives in exchange.
We appreciate your interest in Julie and are deeply sorry that we cannot accommodate your request.
Very Truly Yours,
Dictated but not read
Shall Master and Margarita finally meet each other?
I have booked a VIP ticket for Julie Andrews for you and emailed a confirmation of the order.
We will hold the ticket for you at the box office as we wouldn't want it to get lost in the post.
You can either collect the ticket from the Aotea Centre box office which is open weekdays from 9am to 5.30pm or weekends from 10am to 4pm. The Aotea Centre address is 50 Mayoral Drive, Auckland Central, Auckland 1010.
Otherwise you can pick it up from the Civic Theatre which is where the show is taking place on the 5th of June from 6.30pm onwards. The Civic Theatre address is the corner of Queen Street and Wellesley Street, Auckland Central, Auckland 1010.
The VIP meeting will take place at the Civic Theatre in one of the function rooms after the show. You will be emailed information about the VIP event closer to the time of the show.
Please let me know if you have any other questions.
Kind Regards, Tara Worboys | Customer Service Supervisor
Any hostile fraud could name Julie Andrews as a potential threat to the safety of streets according to "these very detailed findings":
How is it possible that authorities in both Australia and New Zealand take such folly allegations seriously! Are they government officials or just the doormen of Spiritworks Pty Ltd? After my Julie Andrews ticket was cancelled, I still wished to use my "non-refundable and non-transferable" airfare ticket and fly from Helsinki to Auckland via London and Hong Kong. My plan was to report the defamation of character to New Zealand Police as soon as I get there. However, I was told at Heathrow Airport that Cathay Pacific refuses to take me from Hong Kong to Auckland.
Her Royal Highness The Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon
Furthermore, Immigration Manager Tayna Ropati made her antagonistic and arrogant attitude more clear by responding: All/Any negative information received about a foreign national attempting travel to New Zealand is taken very seriously - no matter what that information is. We make no apologize for this. Our first priority is to protect the interests of New Zealand. Your request for compensation will not be forthcoming. New Zealand is its own sovereign nation, and our Government has the legitimate right to decide who it does and does not admit through its border. I appreciate that you did not like the decision we made to deny you uplift to New Zealand visa free, but it was nevertheless our legal prerogative to make. This is not a decision we make lightly.
Have they lost their sense of proportion completely? Or is this corruption? Undoubtedly they don't make this kind of scandalous decisions lightly at the expense of innocent passengers without heavy bribes even in the most depraved shitholes of the world. Today they take orders as "information" from promoters and managers, tomorrow they will harbour human traffickers and pimps. Famous Simon Templar seldom does super-privileged persons favours, but who cares if an innocent poor guy is kicked and humiliated when a pathetic little bureaucrat gets "truly once in a lifetime" opportunity to protect Dame Julie Andrews, a big Hollywood star! Everybody just wants a piece of her.
David Irving was banned from Australia & New Zealand. I also have a controversial theory that Adolf Hitler in fact was a Zionist agent whose mission was to remind the Jews of the world that entry into a particular country is not guaranteed, unless it is their home country. Tayna Ropati reminded me that this matter concerns me as well.
Where is the home? Is there also a skinny Belsen child inside David who wants to sit on Julie Andrews's lap but it is reserved by the daughters of holocaust survivors and boat people: Christmas really sucks when you come out of the bathroom, and Hitler has stolen your seat!
In 1941 Finnish men were mobilized and sent to the front. At home lonely Finnish women met German soldiers - our brothers-in-arms at that time - from Bavaria and Austria. When boyfriends and husbands came back to home after the war, there was a lot of jealousy in the air.
According to the movie Until They Sail they had similar situation also in New Zealand during the WW2 - except that not German but American troops replaced native boys who were sent to the battlefields of Europe. Paul Newman played an American officer whose job is to check NZ war brides' backgrounds, because US government doesn't want to let "undesirable" people enter the country. And what comes to native boys, there's also a character called "Tommy". After the war Tommy gets free airplane and train tickets in order to explore the country that he so bravely protected at the war.
When Robert Wise, the director of Until They Sail and The Sound of Music, visited the Midnight Sun Film Festival at Lapland, Finland, in the 1990s, he didn't need any bodyguards although I was here.
I don't have any violent history or criminal background. In my letter to Mr Sauer I did threaten Julie with a present. However, it was really annoying that I lost over 2000, because my prepaid holiday trip from Finland to New Zealand was blocked by biased and deluded Immigration New Zealand. It hardly protects the interests of any nation when peaceful and paying visitors from abroad are rejected. Contrary to Mr Bathols's written promise, only the payment for Julie Andrews ticket was returned to me, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. However, my travel agency repaid me half of my losses, because they think that my treatment has been exceptionally unfair. Isn't New Zealand any more a safe country for ordinary tourists, or are you simply robbed out of you holiday investments before you even get there! Anyway, no money could have compensated my disappointment. If you were added to the UN Terrorist Sanction List, all states would:
-freeze without delay your funds and other financial assets or economic resources, including funds derived from property owned or controlled directly or indirectly
-prevent your entry into or the transit through their territories
Mr Bathols claimed that I am a "security threat" but yet he offered some money if I stayed away. This alone shows how hypocritical his claims were. Or shall they next freeze my bank account?
I offered my full cooperation in order to separate real hard facts concerning me from public hysteria around celebrated Julie Andrews, but responsible decision-makers were unable to recognize and correct their mistake. If I am so dangerous, why am I so sad, not angry? Any civilized government's first priority is to protect the weak against oppression, but it seems that Dame Julie's Australian promoter didn't only import Julie Andrews but also discrimination from Hollywood to Oceania. Next time they should send invitations instead of selling expensive "meet & greet VIP tickets" if they think that they are entitled to slam the door in somebody's face before the poor guy disturbs anybody. Not even in Israel my treatment was this shameful, and at least there they have some real security issues.
Acting Immigration Manager Tayna Ropati wrote that if Mr Bathols advised you that he would reimburse you for your travel costs then I suggest you take this matter up with him directly. When I asked that why did Immigration New Zealand interfere in if this was just a private matter between me and Julie Andrews's management in the first place, this is what she replied: Greetings Mr Jack, I will no longer be entertaining your emails. If you would like to request any information held on your Immigration New Zealand file please get in contact with one of our offshore branches.
So far Immigration New Zealand had only been able to appeal to their own judgment. However, not a single solid fact hasn't been stated to support the decisions made against me, although I have lost both time and money without compensation for the sake of "public security". This is almost like 1939 again when the Soviets invaded Finland and the Russian security was supposed to be sufficient justification to support superpower's actions against small country.
It is only fair, I thought, that I apply for New Zealand visa through their London branch if they are only then allowed to open my file and give me the opportunity to comment on the adverse information held by Immigration New Zealand and clear up any allegations made against me. Although this retroactive rehabilitation would come too late, it would give them the opportunity to prove that Immigration New Zealand isn't so corrupt that just a generous tip from the gentlemen of showbiz is a valid reason to believe that any unwanted VIP visitor may pose a significant risk to others while in New Zealand and Immigration will cancel these outcasts' visa free access and request them to obtain a visa offshore prior to travel so that the unfortunate victims of deceptive advertising won't be able to claim and use their confirmed and prepaid VIP & air tickets and hotel accommodations.
This is what Technical Advisor Noel Forde replied: We are still not satisfied that you are a boney fide applicant for temporary entry to New Zealand, because Julie Andrews has already left the country. Furthermore your right to enter New Zealand as a visa waiver citizen has been revoked as there was concern that you may pose a risk to others while in New Zealand which is outlined in the documentation provided by you.
Provided by me?! I only sent them Tanya Ropati's and Phil Bathol's letters which were full of empty excuses. Where is my Immigration New Zealand file full of detailed findings against me? The only fact seems to be that the blockheads of bureaucracy sent me from one desk to another without any sense of responsibility when they are not able to justify their decisions against me.
A stranger called me on the eve of Yom Kippur. She turned out to be Immigration Manager Whare Ellis from the London Branch of Immigration New Zealand. This voice from the Ellis Island gave some new hope that justice and truth shall overcome after all.
Isn't Immigration New Zealand interested in neutral facts since I am still not allowed to know what exactly am I accused of behind my back! Or are they too embarrassed to reveal all confidential lies from Hollywood, because taking such nonsense seriously would make persons in charge look like complete fools with all their biased opinions? The legal system of ancient Rome was public. You didn't prosecute other citizens at Forum if you wanted privacy like a conspirator. But obviously from a NZ Immigration officer's point of view I am not any citizen but rather a slave who can be treated high-handedly without being obliged to give reason. And when the victim of this unreasonable treatment wants to help all parties to set the facts right without any vindictiveness, they withhold all unfair and false allegations against unfairly mistreated poor visitor, because disclosure of the bullshit would be likely to prejudice the entrusting of disinformation to the Government of New Zealand in the future.
Before the Napoleonic wars it had been possible to travel between warring countries in Europe until Napoleon had British citizens arrested in his sphere of power. After that Boney wasn't any more regarded as a gentleman in England. Maybe the capital of sovereign New Zealand should be renamed after him?
On the other hand we are not living any more in Duke Wellington's time. Some monks of Buckfast Abbey near Plymouth in England were of German nationality at the outbreak of the First World War. The rumour had it that the monastery was the base of Kaiser's spies. These "saboteurs" under the habit were nearly arrested and sent to an internment camp. Nevertheless common sense overcame security issues and poor monks were left in peace. I had also been a postulant and novice in Buckfast tonic Abbey for 17 months but my vocation didn't persevere. However that is not any scandal and I don't see any reason why I wasn't eligible to meet one operetta nun. I wonder if I was welcome to New Zealand dressed as a no...Nazgūl?
You could say that Julie Andrews feels like a perfect mother you never had. It is almost a religious idea: some people just refuse to grow up and start to seek heavenly father or mother. I just wanted to use my VIP ticket, meet Julie Andrews without disturbing anybody, and finally grow up. However, Julie's management with the help of gullible Immigration New Zealand wanted to prevent this and make me the martyr of my personal religion. Do they need my self-pity for something? Maybe star-makers should have more faith in their product, or what else? Shall they sell tickets to "Meet & Greet Jesus Christ Superstar" at Christchurch in next year? And when hopeful pilgrims travel to New Zealand in order to catch a glimpse of their master, they send them last minute cancellation, because "they might crucify Jesus again".
Julie, Julie, why have you forsaken me?