Self-discovery by Observation

As you know,
nothing affects us as much as
the answer we give to the question:

"Who am I?"

I have noticed that as my answer changes to this question so does my life experience. If I consider myself to be the result of chance then I will find proof in my experience of life that I am at the mercy of chance. The truth and the reality we experience is what we believe in our deepest, innermost level of our being. If you believe that something is, then that's how it is for you. Enjoy it if you can but if you can't then change your belief.

When I believed in Christian God, I saw miracles in my life, as the evidence of His existence. But when I began to see myself as the cause of my experience, I’ve realized the Bible statement to greater depth: "all things are possible to him that believes."

“If you must believe in anything, believe in yourselves, in your senses, in your minds. To accept a religious creed is to accept another mind in place of your own and generally contrary to your own. When religious belief comes in brains go out” Marrila M. Ricker (1840-1920)

To discover myself – is the best thing
anyone can do to help me.

Warning: If you are presently happy with your life and your belief system, I recommend that you do not read what I’ve written here. Do not read on, if you are content with your system of beliefs, but if you think that nothing will disturb your belief or you are searching for answers, then read on.

No time-wasters!
My web pages are user-friendly.
To load quickly and easily they have no
fancy graphics, banners, annoying ads, sound or animations.

OK, you’ve been warned,
but you have decided to read on at your own risk.

Welcome!

Well, I’ve also realized the truth of the Bible verse that “it is necessary for anyone who comes to God to have the belief that God is, and that he is a rewarder of all those who make a serious search for him.” In other words, according to my understanding of the Bible, for God to exist in my life I would need to believe that He does.

Believe that I can or believe that I can’t – either way I will fulfill my prophecy.

Currently, I am looking to see what elements of my mind are being reflected in my life experience. This version of my WebPage reflects the latest stage of my development in 2004. I think that my present view of life is the best, although at each stage of my life I was convinced that I was right and I thought I had the proof I needed for my convictions.

For those readers that would like to see each stage of my development as reflected in my WebPages I decided to present them all here.

Note: please read all this page before going to links that are given on it.

The first version was written in 1996 as a Christian, after the anguish of divorce.

Next version was in 1999, after I’ve delved into teaching of Mystics and Gurus.

Then in January 2002 after delving into CWG that inspired me to write "The Game of Make Believe" and "What is God Like?"- with which I am very pleased. Afterthoughts or What My WebPages Did for Me is an article that summarized my understanding of reality when I finished the 2002 version of my WebPages.

Further on this Page:

• Who am I?
• Life is like a “game”
• Intent / Will
• Little About Me
• Ultimate truth
• Internet

Whatever stage of personal development you are at, you would probably find comfort, challenge and encouragement in appropriate section of this site. If you reflect on how you got to this website you would probably feel as I often do. That is, as if I am been guided by some Guardian Angel to just the right material that I needed at that time. My reasoning tells me that what I am presently experiencing is just the next stage of my development or evolution.

My desire is to clearly understand myself and how life works and I am beginning to see how I draw the events into my life that realizes the values of who I am. In other words, there are no accidents, no external threats and no negating forces that can act on me but the ones I draw to myself.

Because I want to know the essence of reality and clearly understand how life works, I ask myself, “What do I know and what do I believe about who I am? Do I know that or is it just my belief, based on conclusions of only the information available to me?” I do not have an attitude, “My mind is made-up – so don’t bother me with facts.” Because I know that I do not have all the information, I cannot be sure that my conclusions are the best. I am moving from believing to knowing.

What I know is based on my personal experience but what I believe is based on conclusions of my limited mind and limited information that is available presently for my considerations.

I thought that it was God Who did those miracles in my life but now with new information it is beginning to seem to me that it is some higher aspect of me that did it. As Jesus said, “See again: your faith has made you well. And straight away he was able to see, and he went after him, giving glory to God; and all the people when they saw it gave praise to God.” To another He said, “Daughter, take heart; your faith has made you well. And the woman was made well from that hour.”

Who am I?

My present conclusion is that if I am eternal then the logic dictates that I am here, in this body, to entertain myself – to enjoy what ever the experience I choose. If I am not eternal then what is the point if I gain the whole world and do not enjoy what I am doing. Which ever way I look at it, the logic dictates to me that I am here to enjoy my life.

What ever I am, I exist – I am here and not always experiencing what I desire. Often, I am suffering, when I am not in control of my own life. I’ve been programmed that way by others and myself before I knew what I was doing. If I am to experience what I desire and to enjoy my life then I need to reprogram my mind so as to take control of it.

I’ve noticed that what I hold in my mind - the self-image, the hopes, the fears, the feelings and what ever else becomes the reality in my life. What I experience in life is a reflection of my own inner state – my beliefs, be they good or evil.

The real control of my life begins at the attention level. If I control my attention I control my thoughts and my behavior. And my behavior controls my attention and thoughts. Each one affects the other two. To gain control of my life faster, I need to work on all three at the same time, but especially gain control of my attention.

To gain control of my attention I need to constantly remind myself to be aware of it and direct it to where it will be most advantageous to me.

Life is like a “game”

I’ve noticed that life is more enjoyable if I look at it as a game that I came into this world to play. That is to experience a part of human experience in this my present incarnation (if there is such a thing). I see it as it as a personal game that each person has come to play in the society that I am in.

Each person has chosen, for what ever reason, to be a follower in some area of his life and a leader in another. But sometimes the game that we in becomes more than we can tolerate, so we try to change the rules of the game or our role in it. But if we are not the leader in the game we are in, then it may not be so easy to make changes, because the leader or maybe the whole team will do their best not to let you ruin the game for them. That’s how it is.

So the question is, what game or in whose game do I want to play now? Some, trick people to join their game or they just swipe them off their feet by positive or negative emotions. And so most people do not realize that they are running themselves into ground playing someone else's game.

You see, if I can convince you to play my game that is if you would live according to my ideals, then my life will be more satisfying for me, for now. At least, that is how people think. Don’t you? To change anything in our life, we need to become aware of what we are experiencing and why we are experiencing it.

It seems to me that the most important thing in life and particularly in our relationships is to respect the others will for themselves. Not to force our help in their game for them. Unless they ask you for help, let them play their own game their own way. But if their way of life is affecting your life in undesirable way then ask for their permission to help them. See my Thoughts on Relationships =>

Intent / Will

When asked, “What hinders you from getting what you want?” Most people will name some external source that is in their way of realizing what they desire.

The more I study and observe the inner workings of my mind the more I realize that the limits to my experience are determined by my programmed mind. To consciously reprogram or deprogram my mind is the most difficult undertaking in my life.

As I’ve delved deeper into the mechanism of my mind I saw that my intent is sabotaged by other elements of my own mind.

The inner conflicts of my desires or intentions are the cause of all my pain. If I do not see that what I experience is my will then it is because I do not see how forces of all my intentions interact, on all their levels. What I experience is the outcome of all my intentions. So then it follows that all what happens in my life is my will.

When a person for the first time sees himself in the mirror he does not recognize immediately that it is a reflection of himself but as he observes the connections between his movements and what he sees reflected he can very quickly realize that mirror only reflects what is in front of it. It takes much more effort to observe before we can see that what we experience in life is a reflection of our inner state – our beliefs.

Fortunately or unfortunately, most people seem to prefer or choose not to see the connection between the inner mind set and their experience. If you are one of those individuals that would like to see the connection between the inner mind set and your experience more clearly, this site should help you.

To eliminate hindrances to, “My will be done.” I need to become aware of every feeling within me and persistently trace them to the beliefs that are supporting those feelings and eliminate them or correct them.

By the way, my intention with this site is to summarize my latest and the best life philosophy, so that I can read and re-read as often as it takes to really make it practically my own. That is, that my life will be an incarnation of the best life philosophy I can put together. I also hope that it will help you to enjoy your life and be happier.

I would like to share a little about myself and few other things, before going on to consider, how to experience what we consciously want to experience; how to be conscious authors of our own life; consciously originating our own actions and circumstances. And not be as most, who are unconscious authors of their own life.

Little about me:

I am Wally (Vladimir) Kuskoff. I was born in China in 1951, the first born of 9 children to Russian parents. I was 14 years old when immigrated to Australia. Since 1983 I have been living in Finland and while living in Finland I was a Christian Missionary to Russia for several years. I've worked and studied in Australia, New Guinea, Philippines, USA and Sweden. I've also visited many other countries. I have two grownup daughters.

Ultimate truth

The main interest in my life has been to discover the real meaning or the central purpose to life and to attain it. I wanted to make the most of the most important aspects of life. This search has lead me to many parts of the world and to try out many things. I've enjoyed some of the best teachings of Protestant Christianity but in 1999, after 30 years in Christianity, I realized that I wanted something more. I did not want to be limited by any system or beliefs. I suppose it is "different strokes for different folks".

Most of my life I was looking to find ultimate truth or reality and I believe I’ve discovered it. The ultimate truth is that each one of us together and separately creates our own reality by what we choose to believe. Most of the beliefs are passed on by parents to children and thereby the offspring recreates parents experience and their reality. And then he uses his experiences to confirm to himself that what he believes is true, a belief experience - belief experience . . . loop.

So the man is stuck in this loop for generations but the loop does change slowly depending to what degree, different generation are willing to tryout different belief systems. Man often thinks that the times have changed but he fails to see the true reason, and that is; his beliefs has changed and thereby he has changed his perception of his reality. By changing his belief systems he has changed his life experience.

Talk about changing belief or convictions, I’ve written many WebPages in 2003 – 2004 on different topics but just before I was ready to publish them I got into another subject. Which I thought would be more valuable to share and besides I could not find the time to finish those pages, because I was into the next subject.

At one time I wanted to record and share in details what I did to succeed in those things that I’ve succeeded in and write about on this site. But I’ve realized, that it will be impossible for another person to implement my method no matter how detailed it will be, because each one of us is unique. To succeed in anything we need to follow our own intuition not only to find the appropriate method for our selves but also to implement it. So, keep looking and keep developing a better ability to instantly obey your own intuition.

For instance, I was not feeling very well at the end of the autumn in 2003. As I search the Internet for how to improve my health, I was surprised to find that there where people living just on air or light. I was curious, so I began with detoxifying my body by changing my diet, eating more raw food and sprouts, fasting on juices and water, and some other things, like sun-gazing, affirmations, breathing exercises and so on.

After about two months I began to feel better than I felt for decades. My two year backache stop bothering me and ringworm like fungus that I had for three decades disappeared.

See a very good fasting on juices sight @ www.juicefasting.org

The more I investigated the more contradicting information I found. What resolved the puzzle of contradicting information for me is as I researched was my realization that my body can live on whatever I want. It is what I believe that creates my experience. Every person is living in his own reality and can make the mistake of assuming that all the people live in same reality. It is understandable, because most of the reality we experience is a common one and so we can easily assume that what is good for us or our body it should be good for all.

I’ve realized that I need to rely on my own intuition.

Internet

In about 1996 a Christian friend made a statement, “There is nothing good on the Internet.” and I thought, “Strange, I find so much good.” Later I’ve realized that there is so much information on the net that you will find what you looking for, good or bad.

Internet has greatly helped me to look at life from different perspectives and to discover aspects in myself that I was not aware of or maybe I did not have the courage to see it in myself.

“To challenge the unknown requires courage, but to challenge the known requires greater courage yet, plus a good measure of audacity.”

Note: above, is basically an introduction to my approach to life and little about me.

The next recommend pages are:

Thoughts are Things =>>

Or an article that summarized my understanding of reality
when I finished the 2002 version of my WebPages.
Afterthoughts or What My WebPages Did for Me =>>

Following are the WebPage links that have had an influence on me. But before you check them out, please carefully look over the contents of my site.

The Web Links to web sites that I've enjoyed reading:

The Essence of Reality examines life from a unique, clear vantage point. Based on an understanding that whatever you believe in will seem to be true, perspectives offered here break through limiting concepts of archaic religions and traditional philosophies, as well as common New Age distortions and illusions innate to Eastern thinking. www.nehrer.net

Realitychecker Who doesn't think that they are experiencing reality? Yet how can they be sure? How can you be sure? www.realitychecker.com

Success Consciousness Website! Articles, guidance, quotes, eBooks and ezine about spiritual growth, meditation, peace of mind, happiness, success, positive thinking, creative visualization, mind power and self improvement. www.successconsciousness.com

The Option Method is a highly effective way to help with depression, stress, anxiety, frustrations, relationship and marriage problems, and improve mental health. optionmethodnetwork.com

Become Who You Want To Be is a site dedicated to helping you know yourself better, accept yourself more, and recognize that you have the power to be whoever you wish. www.selfcreation.com

For more details about the following sites see my links page.

Quotations and links to the WebSites that have been very helpful to me:

Conversations with God books by Neale Donald Walsch. His books have influence me so much that I've rewriten my website and I am still doing it. As much as I've read, does not contradict my experience of life but it did contradict a lot of my theology that I held for decades. His writings help me to comprehend who I am and what my Creator could be like. http://www.cwg.org

Eckhart Tolle - is not aligned with any particular religion or doctrine or guru; his teaching embraces the heart, the essence, of all other traditions, and contradicts none of them. He is able to do what all the great masters have done: to show us, in simple and clear language, that the way, the truth, and the light is within us. A state of enlightenment is attainable, here and now. It is possible to live free of suffering, free of anxiety and neurosis. http://www.eckharttolle.com

Barry Long His teaching does not come from any tradition but from his own direct experience of life. He said "I speak only of truth, love, life, death and God" http://www.barrylong.org

Osho He led his disciples on paths, which were philosophical, scientific, psycho-analytical and religious. http://www.osho.com

Some of the external links that refer to my WebPages:

Best of the Net > Society/Religion and Spirituality/Mysticism ... on mysticism and living a fulfilling life.Mysticism Top Links www.mysticism-links.com

Religion Explorer http://www.religionexplorer.com/cgi-bin/dir.pl?dir=%2FMysticism&Rank=11

Dandruff From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dandruff